hands gone wild

I wonder if I am taking this handwashing thing a little too far with my 3-year-old. She seems to be a little over-enthusiastic about it!

Thankfuls

For the past couple of weeks, I have committed to stating something that I am thankful for everyday. This is probably a routine that I should get myself into every morning--consciously thanking God for something--and yes, I do pray sometimes, but not often enough--I think I mentioned that before.

Prayer to me is a calming and meditative activity. Even if I don't always feel like someone "up there" is listening, it helps to set my mind free from the scattered and hectic thoughts that plague me throughout the day.

Anyways, here is the list:

1. For a husband who puts up with all my crap and rarely seems to get angry about it.

2. For all my fellow veterans (that includes ALL branches of the military, lol--go army!) keeping our country safe every day, including my uncle who was killed in Vietnam before I was able to meet him. You are all so brave!!!

3. For having a boss that I can talk to and know that she is sincere and caring. That she is German and brings lots of food from her native country for us (I have a soft spot for that place for some reason). And also for the fact that she likes my idea of sunglasses at work----just not during IV sticks!

4. As a tribute to Friday the 13th today, I'm very thankful that I have an old beater for a car. That makes it so much easier to accept the dings and scratches, especially when you get hit in the store parking lot!

5. Continuing on with the Friday the 13th thankfulness...thankful for my precious animals, as well as the veterinarian who cares for them...and also flea treatments, and vaccines to keep them healthy...all for only $499! It must be a FT13TH special!

6. For my friends, particularly the ones I can be myself around and not feel shy about it. ML, you are the most special to me. We've known eachother since 15 and nobody really knows me like you do. You never get on my case about being such a terrible correspondent. You are irreplaceable!

7. For keyboards, typewriters, pens, pencils, and paper (that includes scratch paper!). Basically, anything and everything to write on and with! No, not spray paint :)

8. For hot showers, cold drinks, and that I have not yet gone gray.

9. Thankful to be me. And I'm not even going to add any qualifiers in there, surprise surprise! :-)

10. For progress and ice cream, not sure in which order of importance.

11. It's Saturday and I'm home...thank you :) In fact, thankful for ALL days off from work!

12. To be done done done with the floor! (other than the quarter round, but who's really counting that?). And as my dear husband so astutely observed, without one argument or bicker at eachother. Good thing, considering we have several more rooms to do still.

13. For second chances, do-overs, redos, and encores.

14. For the rambunctiousness of my children, the calmness of the trees, filling meals, and that I made it to another Thanksgiving with all my senses intact (except maybe the common one :p).

B's tooth falls out

Today we learned that a pretzel can not only be used as a snack food, but also for wrenching a loose tooth free. I wonder if anyone has ever invented a loosetooth grabber device. This could be it!

It happened while he was sitting in class. The students have the freedom to eat their snack from home whenever they want during the day, as long as they keep it at their desk. This is so different from when I was growing up, or even from my oldest daughter's school--a strict parochial institution. I believe that this instills a sense of responsibility and individuality in the child--and, more importantly, gives them a little bit of control over their mostly structured day.

So, to make a long story short, the pretzel caught the tooth and pulled it out. Seeing the blood was not traumatic for him. We talk about things like that all the time. I refuse to shelter him about the world, lest he be shocked and terrified someday.

He brought the white jagged pearly thing home in a plastic bag, so proud of the accomplishment, like when he runs another lap in track. I'm sad because I won't be home tonight to witness the Tooth Fairy's first arrival to our house (yeah, I sometimes fail at teaching the ins and outs of reality, but whatever).

Okay, I'm going to make a confession now. Someday when you read this, B, you will gasp, but the Tooth Fairy had to borrow money from your Halloween card on the counter to pay you for your tooth. We love you :)

southside

I've recently learned something about having a so-called "disability":

If you don't get a sense of humor about it, it will consume you.

So there I was at work tonight, sitting in the breakroom and working on the essays for my grad school application. My eyes were feeling sore. I glanced at them in the mirror, then realized I looked like I should be taken to drug rehab immediately.

I fumbled around in my bag and found my sunglasses. This is one of the "tools" that my boss agreed that I should use at work to get through the shift on the bad nights. Actually, they're my husband's, because I sat on mine in the car. Sunglasses have an extremely short half-life when they belong to me.

They are special sunglasses, fancy ones. They say "NASCAR" on the arm (the part that hooks to your ear) and have bluish-tinted lenses. Perfect for where I'm living now, although I think we bought them back in Illinois. Unfortunately, somewhere between my car and the locker here at work that poor fancy left arm got amputated.

I'm trying to be adaptive, but having just one side hang off my face isn't working, so I get out my baseball cap, the second "tool." One of my friends in the ER bought it for me. He calls me "Southside" and speaks to me in an exaggerated Minnesota accent, always mocking my northern roots, but sweetly picked this hat up for me when he spotted it at Target. I made sure I told him "thanks boy."

I adjust it on my head, try to stretch it out after leaving it in the dryer for too long, and what do you know? In walks my coworker, laughing immediately when she sees me. I can't help but laugh too. I look utterly ridiculous with polyester scrubs and this hat on. Just the fact that my boss said it was okay for me to walk around a nursing unit with a baseball cap and sunglasses shows how far we've come in the working world with disability accomodations. But no, I won't be leaving the breakroom like this. I'm not quite at that level of comfort with myself. The "tools" are reserved for those moments when there is no patient around!

Yes, you can always find something to smile about in almost every situation, if you look hard enough!

living in a white bread 'hood

B, my first grader, went on a field trip to a play yesterday.

"Mom, listen to this! This is cool! When we were riding on the bus a red car pulled up beside us and there was a Japanese person inside! A Japanese person in Tennessee!!!"

Of course, I am trying to be a good mother and teach my son to embrace diversity. So I proceeded to explain that there are plenty of Asian people living in Tennessee, as well as other ethnicities, and that they all contribute to the beauty of the collective human face of our world.

And then of course, I sighed, and said out loud "We definitely need to take more trips to Chicago."

Forbes.com--"America's Safest Cities"=buncha crapola

Now, you know that I love my hometown of Chicago, but this survey is horribly skewed and shameful. Traffic fatalities in Chicago were ranked 9; in Nashville, 37. I drove the autobahn in Germany and was still scared to take the Dan Ryan after I returned home. The only complaint I have about Nashville drivers is that they don't seem to know what a turn signal is, nor do some here understand the concept of pulling forward in a left-hand turning lane once the green arrow is gone. But I must say that since moving here two years ago I have become a less hurried driver, and in turn, grip the wheel in a more leisurely manner and yell fewer obscenities into the air.


Forbes.com--America's Safest Cities

"To determine our list of America's safest cities, we looked at the country's 40 largest metropolitan statistical areas across four categories of danger. We considered violent crime rates from the FBI's 2008 uniform crime report; 2008 workplace death rates from the Bureau of Labor Statistics; 2008 traffic death rates from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration; and natural disaster risk, using rankings from green living site SustainLane.com. "

1 Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington, MN-WI
2 Milwaukee-Waukesha-West Allis, WI
3 Portland-Vancouver-Beaverton, OR-WA
4 Boston-Cambridge-Quincy, MA-NH
4 Seattle-Tacoma-Bellevue, WA
6 Providence-New Bedford-Fall River, RI-MA
7 San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara, CA
8 New York-Northern New Jersey-Long Island, NY-NJ-PA
9 Cincinnati-Middletown, OH-KY-IN
10 Cleveland-Elyria-Mentor, OH
10 Denver-Aurora, CO
12 Detroit-Warren-Livonia, MI
13 San Diego-Carlsbad-San Marcos, CA
14 Phoenix-Mesa-Scottsdale, AZ
15 Chicago-Naperville-Joliet, IL-IN-WI
15 Austin-Round Rock, TX
15 Dallas-Fort Worth-Arlington, TX
18 Pittsburgh, PA
19 Los Angeles-Long Beach-Santa Ana, CA
20 Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV
21 Philadelphia-Camden-Wilmington, PA-NJ-DE-MD
22 San Antonio, TX
23 Atlanta-Sandy Springs-Marietta, GA
24 Sacramento-Arden-Arcade-Roseville, CA
25 San Francisco-Oakland-Fremont, CA
26 Baltimore-Towson, MD
27 Virginia Beach-Norfolk-Newport News, VA-NC
28 Tampa-St. Petersburg-Clearwater, FL
29 Las Vegas-Paradise, NV
29 Columbus, OH
31 Charlotte-Gastonia-Concord, NC-SC
32 Kansas City, MO-KS
32 Riverside-San Bernardino-Ontario, CA
34 St. Louis, MO-IL
35 Orlando-Kissimmee, FL
36 Indianapolis-Carmel, IN
37 Nashville-Davidson-Murfreesboro-Franklin, TN
38 Houston-Sugar Land-Baytown, TX
39 Jacksonville, FL
40 Miami-Fort Lauderdale-Pompano Beach, FL

Fort Granger--an intact Civil War fort in Franklin, Tennessee

This is actually a little boy. Children wore this type of attire until they were potty-trained in order to make it easier to keep clean.

The bugle demonstrated. Five distinct notes can be attained by altering the pressure on the mouthpiece.

A soldier's underwear. This caught a few giggles from the crowd...and the soldiers themselves.

The heel of the shoe had a horseshoe pounded into it to keep it from wearing down quickly, and nails added to the sole so that there would be greater traction while walking on rugged terrain.

friends

There is one thing in life that I have consistently prayed for whenever I get into a praying mood. It's something that doesn't come easy for me--something that I need to work hard at. When I was a little kid, I enjoyed spending time in my room reading and writing more than being around people. It started out that way because I am creative and introspective, then as I got older and went through different experiences, my loner tendencies slowly turned into a distrust of people in general. So I pull away from them, sometimes consciously, sometimes unaware of what I'm doing. I struggle with finding the proper balance of being an authentic person and protecting myself. I long for true friends, people that I can be honest and human with, and although some of the secrets I divulge may be shocking and weird, to still be loved by them. I'm sure that this desire is common for most people, although it's not something that we talk about in casual conversation.

Why am I writing this now? Because it is the eve of my long-awaited trip up to Illinois, and part of the visit will include old friends, some of whom I haven't seen since 2nd grade. Funny thing is, we weren't that close back then, but then again, how close can kids be in 2nd grade? But over this past year we have become reacquainted, and it's like those 30 years apart were nothing more than a few months. I have found that as I slowly let them into my world, these friends still care about me, and I trust them.

Those truly linked don't need correspondence. When they meet again after many years apart, their friendship is as true as ever--Deng Ming-Dao

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom--Marcel Proust

We all need friends with whom we can speak of our deepest concerns, and who do not fear to speak the truth in love to us--Margaret Guenther

To find a friend one must close one eye; to keep him, two--Norman Douglas

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new--Ralph Waldo Emerson

1st Cub Scouts campout with the kids, October 3, 2009

Set up tent in the back of the group, next to the woods. Nice spot for nature. Bad spot for sleep since kids playing in the woods and reinacting battle scenes ran by our tent yelling all day.

Naptime for Claire--after about 1/2 hour or more of her playing, she finally started twitching and shut her eyes. A moment later a group of kids ran by. Big brother Brandon spoke loudly to them--"my sister's sleeping in there, be quiet!" Next thing I know she's smiling at me. A precious smile, but I was zoned after dozing off myself and desperately wanted her to go back to sleep. No such luck. She had to go potty.

First excursion to the outhouse with Claire. Chose one without a daddy long leg in sight (on a subsequent visit we had to switch because there was a one resting on the extra roll of toilet paper sitting on the floor. That was unacceptable to the girl, even if there was another roll on the dispenser). I teach her the law of the outhouse: "Don't touch that urinal next to you--people pee in there, try not to touch the seat, sit still on there, you could fall in!" She tilts her head back and suddenly her Dora hat tumbles in slow motion down into the bowels of the outhouse. I was planning to leave it there, floating next to a pile of poo, ick, I get strange sensations in my throat just thinking about it--but she cried and cried, screamed actually, so I bravely stuck my hand in there and pulled it out. It was half covered in that blue disinfecting liquid they put in the toilets. I really do deserve Mother-of-the-Year for that feat. Several men were waiting near the door as we came out. "We were wondering what happened," they said in concerned voices. It's a preschooler and an outhouse. Do I need to explain more? Okay, just a Dora hat, folks, we're both alive and intact.

Walked about 1/2 mile up to the main nighttime bonfire. Nudged ourselves into a spot in the crowd to sit, and sure enough we couldn't see or hear much at all. I guess we weren't alone--the Cub Scout leaders on stage, all dressed in their regalia, kept asking if the crowd could hear. People repeatedly answered "no," but the sound never became any louder. Also, a couple of guys in front of us wouldn't sit down as if we were at some exciting concert. I wondered what this was all about. It seemed to be for awards, but nothing that pertained to us newbies. No scary indoctrination ceremony or anything like that.

Sat on the blanket that we had argued about back at the campsite. Husband didn't want to dig around in the van for it but I told him "I'd rather sit on a blanket than the bare ground." Good thing. He ended up sitting in a puddle of beer. After about 5 minutes we decided to trudge back to camp.

The den leader had a bonfire going and we got ourselves a spot far back from it, as sparks were flying in different directions from the wind. Claire and B were well-behaved and kept their distance. Roasted marshmallows, 2 for each of them, burnt to a delicious, cancer-causing crisp. Husband had a graham cracker and chocolate bar ready and grabbed my poker with it, pulled marshmallow off in a smooth stroke. Brandon had originally tried to roast his own, but they set on fire and he deduced that he should wave the flaming marshmallows my way. That was the end of that. Kids snuck a few more marshmallows off the food table and daddy gave them some Keebler cookies. Other campers in the group surrounded the fire in front of us, but I was okay with that. It's nice to be able to watch things from afar. Not only in camping, but in many other situations too. No campfire songs, to my surprise.

Didn't have a phone or watch to tell the time, but it was probably around 9 when we hit the sack. This is way early for me, but there was nothing else to do in a dark tent with two little kids. They fell asleep immediately on the air mattress across from us--no playing or goofing! They did better there than at home.

Most of the people were still up and about in our tent area. Kids were running by and kept mentioning/admiring/picking-up my walking stick that I bought for $15 at the main building--beautifully carved, and cheap--probably a boy scout project. Had to leave the bed to bring it into the tent. I wasn't going to let something that cost me so little get away!

Claire woke-up a couple hours later and asked "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?" This is the song that I sing her each night at bedtime. The night isn't complete without it. "It's the middle of the night honey, I'll sing it to you in the morning." Listened for B's snoring to make sure he was still alive after the little fall from the rock castle ladder where he cut the back of his head.

Dozed off for a couple of hours. The next time we woke up it was bright in the tent. I thought maybe daylight had come, was hoping for that actually, but it was only the full moon shining overhead. My head was elevated, but I could feel rocks under my butt. It was dead silent outside, but I woke Don up to reinflate our mattress anyways. I checked the time and it was 3 a.m. The motor of the air pump was loud and I was afraid that I would wake everyone around us up, but I wasn't going to lay on rocks to be popular.

I laid there for awhile listening to the snoring in nearby tents. After Don fell asleep he started to snore too. I could nudge him, but it didn't help cease the chorus of snores around me that echoed through the thin night air. I let out a loud fart, forgetting that we were in semi-public. Wondered if doing something like that was socially acceptable in that situation--at night in a zipped up tent, even if others could hear. Where do you draw the line with that? Snoring is okay but farts are not? We were at the "primitive" campsites. Maybe that allowed for all bodily functions.

Another small bonfire in the morning, scattered people gathered around, men at the grill station cooking breakfast. Nice to see lots of men cooking, although I see it in my own house on a daily basis. Lucky that I live with a man who likes to cook! Breakfast was pre-packaged danishes (B originally took a cheese one, the LAST one at that, and I nudgingly coveted it--"do you like cheese?" "Oh no," he remembered, and I swapped him out for a cinnamon one). Also scrambled eggs, chunks of ham, bacon, sausage links and pancakes. Milk, OJ, or yesterday's orange gatorade or lemonade to drink.

I helped my husband dismantle the tent (I wanted to learn the in's and out's of this simple nylon thing--in the military I was a lab tech and so we usually worked out of a metal pod, but when we weren't in there we had to assemble massive canvas tents). We had to brush a few more spiders off. He picked one up by its leg and threw it off. I felt glad that he was the one between the two of us who could put on a better brave show.

First thing I did when we arrived home was throw myself on the bed.

the cover letter and resume that should've stayed in draft

My husband was recently interviewing candidates for a job with his company. Amongst the shining examples, this shone the brightest by far.


Sir

I just saw that add on craigslist and wanna know how to apply. I know i am good for this job.. I got a clean record with no priors. was locked up at 13 for 3 years but thats off my record. Bullshit i didnt evend do I got my GED last summer so i am good with that. i am not lokin for much dough either cuz my baby momma is workin now to. I really only lokin to make 7-10 an hours. I dont have a resumee but we can do a Phone interview if yous like.
Thanks

Deli Present work their 8.50 an hour
Carpet cleaners 11.00 an hour
Motiviation (cleaned equipement) 14.80 an hour (fired due to illness)
Subway 7.50 an hour
McDonalds 7.50 an hour a yung pup makin a buck