undercrowded

Ever since we moved to this house I have had trouble sleeping. It seems like I can't get through a night without waking up.

My first thought was that it was because I was working more night shifts. Bigger mortgage=have to work more=more stress=insomnia.

But I think that I have discovered the root of the problem. The bedroom is just TOO BIG. While it is lovely--with 2 closets, a fireplace, a bathroom, and a balcony facing the backyard--I do not feel secure in there. It feels like I am floating around in the open air when I am laying in bed.

I have always felt that I could live happily in a tiny home (that is, if I was able to part with some of the "junk"). I also thought that this was probably a character flaw of mine according to our society. Houses are built so large now--ours is from 1985 but still 3,000 square feet--it seems like living in a behemoth should be a normal way of life. Never mind all the earth's resources that it takes to maintain and run this house.

Our home in Illinois was 1,300 square feet. I was living happier in it. We were all closer. My bed was right next to the window where I could see and hear the oak leaves tap against one another every morning. I had birds to wake me and I could see strands of caterpillar silk reflected in the early sunlight.

I miss the simple life.