new year's workout session with exercise guru Denise Austin

I've been working out to Denise Austin videos for several years now. I absolutely love her. The same three routines have endlessly rotated through my DVD machine.

I find them tossed around on the shelves of the entertainment center and replaced by Clone Wars movies all the time. Needless to say, they've acquired their fair share of scratches.

Today the disc kept skipping forward. I went from 15:12 to 16:43 to 17:36 in less than 20 seconds. I didn't complain, of course. I just improvised with a couple of off-beat side steps and chassés.

My exercise mat was stuffed behind the TV where I couldn't reach it, so I stopped the movie to figure out what to do. I could hear Brandon cracking up. He was laughing at the paused face of Denise Austin. Scary and hilarious at the same time!


We decided to make a montage that combines her intense workout expressions with my thoughts while exercising to her videos (when I'm out of shape). Enjoy, and know that you're not alone in the funky faces department.

I'm ready to take-on the weights now. Yes. Yes I am. Here I go. Now.

B, please get off the TV. I can't see what she's doing. You're breaking my concentration. Hey, can you grab the remote off the shelf? I need to run downstairs a minute. What do I need? Just some energy food. Old Christmas candy or something. Or something.

See, this isn't so bad. Really it isn't. If I don't stop trying to smile like Denise, though, I'm going to end up choking on the candy goo that's still in my mouth.

This doesn't seem so fun anymore.



All children and animals need to leave the room immediately.

I think I may be stroking out. Call your father!

I can't believe what you're asking me to do here. This thing was supposed to be low impact. Where do you get off.....??? The nerve!



Forget the Queen...God save me!

Who am I? Where am I?



You've got to be f#&*ing kidding me. I'm done. Done done done! Until tomorrow.