blog searchword fun

A compilation of some recent searches that crash-landed onto my blog:


computericed boc germani machine (Whatever it is, it's very cold.)

ingesting moonflowers (How did I know that writing about moonflowers would draw aspiring drug addicts to me?)

the proper southern baby shower (multiple searches from Florida and Georgia. You live there. There's no one around that you can ask?)

yankee jurs eyes (???)

southern men are babies (Could we generalize a bit further?)

baby shower mints Nashville TN (Hendersonville, TN. Go to your local Dollar General. I'm sure you'll find something suitable there.)

why are my moonflowers falling off? (Los Angeles, California. Other than the fact that the flowers naturally only last one day, could it be that they dislike the smog?)

what is causing the leaves on my moonflowers to turn yellow? (Georgia. Hot climate. Water them.)

laygs or lehgs (Champaign, Illinois. Come on people, this is a big college town. You can't spell legs? Did you get admitted because your daddy paid off a senator?)

u r my shoulder to lean on and i can always count on u to b there for me your my one and only, your my everything everytime i (Melbourne, Australia. So they're as lovesick on the other side of the world as we are here, I see.)

"my braces" "my baby" "my husband" site (Italy. "My life, my love and my lady...is the sea.")

pricking uncomfortable eye (Malta. Please don't do that. Pricking your eye will only make things worse for you.)

pedal on the floor, hand pumping my prick (California. Am I surprised? No. I'm now starting to realize that my botox entry is going to invite a lot of interesting traffic to my blog. Welcome, perverts!)

big boy B and update on "blank"

Two major events happened in the life of Brandon today:

1. First loose tooth

2. Baby blanket put away

The nightly toothbrushing ritual consists of checking for missed spots (there's always gunk on the same front teeth). I noticed that his bottom tooth was leaning a bit to the side. Crouched down with my nose all up in his face and tried to figure out what was going on, as if I had never seen this phenomenon before. "Oh, it's loose!" He walked out of the bathroom with a glowing smile, circling around in the upstairs hall. Nearly 7, first loose tooth!

Tucking in for bed. Do you want me to cover you with your blanket? No, I want to be a big boy now. Where do you want me to put it? In my drawer under the bed.

He had offered to pass the old blanket down to Claire a couple of days earlier. My husband retorted--"No, that nasty thing is getting retired!" I have to admit that it is a bit old--my 17-year-old's original crib blanket. I've replaced the batting once and it is pretty much a thin sheet of faded material with some random chunks of cotton hanging on in various places.

So there it sits, safely under the bed. Close enough for comfort, yet far away enough to make him feel like he's a big boy. And, in fact, he is, and I'm the one who can't always see it--or is it that I don't want to?

and we worried, fretted, and argued over Obama's speech to schoolchildren...

Short conversation with my first grade son after school :


"Did you get to hear the president speak today?"

"Yeah."

"Where? On TV?"

"On Good Morning America."

"What did he talk about?"

"I don't remember. I have a bad memory."

"Was it about school or a job?"

"I don't know. It was getting boring so I stopped listening."

Selective hearing loss starts much younger than I thought it did.