Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Williamson County Fair

What is it about carnivals that the workers have to be so creepy? Is that one of the job requirements (must have a large, noticeable facial scar, a raspy voice, and hair that looks as if you've been manually pulling it out), because you certainly don't see normal people (e.g. salesmen in suits, pastors, nurses?--oh, forget it!) operating those machines. As Claire was having a ball on the kiddie cars, all I could think was "I wonder if this guy is a registered sex offender?" I am jaded in my old age, yet I have always thought about this, even when I was a kid. The weirdo-radar was programmed early, way back in Safety Town at age 4.

I was scolded by the woman in charge of the rotating pink elephants for fastening my two-year-old's seatbelt too tightly. In case of an emergency, she explained harshly, we need to be able to get the belt off quickly. Other than the bolt loosening and sending the elephant flying into the air like Dumbo, the only emergency I could think of would be my 2-year-old trying to be funny, wiggling to stand up, and falling out. Note to parents: always check behind the carnival people.

I need to have a side job as a carnival worker (after I get older and a little weirder-looking). I'm going to run one of those stands with all the goldfish bowls that you get 5 balls for $2 to throw in order to win a fish. They must make a killing, considering that you can buy feeder fish 12 for $1.99 at Walmart, and it's so difficult to get a ping-pong ball into one of those little bowls. Imagine how the fish feel, with balls bouncing all around them.

Either that, or I can buy a mobile food stand and a vat of frying grease and offer up all the Southern delicacies that anyone will buy. My favorites are fried Oreos (double-stuffed), and sweet potato fries. By the way, spellcheck replaced "oreos" with "oleos." Hmmmm....fried margarine, now that's a new one that I bet the Southern chefs haven't dabbled in.

Okay, my spellcheck program is WAY
behind the times here.
It underlined Walmart as a misspelled word!


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